i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
