There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you would pick up someone in the library
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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