question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
where are you?
Hypothermia
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
