Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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