I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
