Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
