BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
