Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
