areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize