Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
