i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He had one of those small greek statue penises
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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