those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
