Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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