I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
