What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
