Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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