I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
only you would photoshop your dick
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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