Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
