Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize