I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
vagina is talking i cant
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
