i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
