Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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