I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
