absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Let's get the cat blown out
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
