Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
