btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
