i don't like sucking hair
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
