i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
