I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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