Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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