mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
