Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
