Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I FOUND THE LEGS
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
