My hand turned me down
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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