I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
