dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sext me about skeletons
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
