Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize