Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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