Do vagina's smell?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
