she was so not down for the gang bang
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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