can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
