Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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