giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
