It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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