I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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