Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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