just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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