Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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