I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
