I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
