I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Vodka?
Forever.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
