How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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