I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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