Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
