Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
