this just has baby written all over it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dick very happy bro
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
