It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
