elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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