I'm lost and stupid without you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
