So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
