Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Porn is love you can see.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
