her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
