I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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