is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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