I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she pinky promised me she was 18
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
